The beatdown. 20 beers that my tastebuds did not like.

You’ve seen the good list. Here is the bad. I present this knowing that everyone’s tastes are different. Mine may be narrow minded, but these beers all had something just plain off in them. Could be the after taste or just plain too much alcohol. Read on, discuss just enjoy.

1. Avery Mestopholies Stout – Clocking in at 16% ABV this is the strongest beer I had during my crash course in beer knowledge. I have also had a 20% and what I am about to type rings true in my heart. There is such a thing as too much alcohol. I think for me that sweet spot is about 9-11% but anything over is plain too much. I haven’t found a beer higher than 11% that I have enjoyed, but I digress. This first and foremost is a stout, and imperial one and it is extremely devilish as the name implies. Tread with caution, this beer has  a knack for making people nauseous.
2. Samichlaus – Once touted as the worlds strongest beer at a beefy 14% what I mentioned earlier holds true yet again. It’s dark, alcoholic and almost too sweet. My reaction after drinking “It tastes like burning.” Drink for the novelty factor only.
3. Stone Smoked Porter – On my good list Stone gets high marks for brewing what they want and not caring what I or you really think about it. Thats true here. In this case, this beer was hell. Probably the worst I had tried. It tastes like fermented barbecue sauce that had been left in the sun for a month. Not my taste, maybe it it okay for you.
4. Dogfish Head Red and White – The opposite of the Black and Blue on my like list, this is a Belgian Wit beer fermented with Pinot Nior grapes. It clocks a healthy 10% ABV, the problem with this beer and me was the burning. I can’t say it was bad, just near impossible to drink.
5. Kasteel Rogue – Cherries can be a hard to thing to make into an alcoholic beverage. This for me is a prime example as to why we should stick to the raspberries and peaches. At 8% its not a ridiculous beer, but tastes like cough syrup to me.
6. Guinness Draught – That’s right. I went there. Guinness plain sucks. It tastes horrible. Yeah it supposedly is healthy, its low in alcohol and thick as can be. Sadly all these benefits just can’t justify the taste. I keep hearing it’s better from the brewery, and if that’s the case it just isn’t worth a trip to get it from Ireland or Jamaica. Actually after reading up on the Jamaican version its an 8.5% beer, I can’t imagine more alcohol being the answer here.
7. Fosters – The night I tried Fosters I was unknowingly sitting next to an Austrailian, and underneath a beat up metal sign reminding me this is Austrailian for beer. The Austrailian fellow next to me reminded it wasn’t. I’m glad he did. It would have ruined my impression of his homeland. Fosters offers their beer in a 750mL “oil can” it’s huge. I drank every bit of it and looked angry about it the whole time. Friends tried to pry the can out of my hands. I reminded them, “I paid for it, it’s going in my body.” At best I can tell you to imagine a kitschy version of Budweiser. The Outback Steakhouse of beers if you will. Something that just ain’t worth the price of admission.
8. Flying Dog Doggie Style Pale Ale – You guys get the sex joke there? Beer and sex just go together, and instead of a seedy ad campaign the folks at Flying Dog would rather try to be clever. I would imagine the name sells a fair amount of the beer. It’s kinda gross. Unfortunately I haven’t come across a Flying Dog beer I can call palatable. There is always something off. It may be with the hops they use or the water or something. Who knows. I did order this during my I really love IPA phase, and this one almost made me go back. Go for a Dogfish Head beer instead.
9. HeBrew Origin Pomegranate – This guy brewed by Schmaltz Brewing sounded good, but I was probably expecting the sweetened pomegranate taste. That isn’t here. It came in a big but not quite 750mL size bottle. Again, this is more certainly my taste and not the beer itself, but I can’t imagine a lot of people liking it.
10. Unibroue La Fin Du Monde – This beer, for me was a flavor explosion. Sadly those flavors just weren’t the best. I’ve only had one bottle and will be trying it again. Hopefully it will be a better bottle and I can come back to this list and remove it. Until then it will live here. I felt the bottle was too expensive and too harsh.
11. Stella Artois – I never did like Stella, I felt like I would give it a fair shot though and I did. It’s on this list, and you can bet that I still don’t quite enjoy it. The beer is definitely the same after they merged with Annheiser Busch, its far too light and dainty. It’s considered a premium beer and commands a price that I have hard time paying. That said, if at a party and I had to pick from all the other beers on this list and a Stella, I’d be drinking that Belgian-American beer.
12. Sam Adams Summer – I love Sam Adams, a majority of their beers are fantastic, and as we know they win TONS of awards. They are a huge advocate to homebrewers having said that, this beer tasted like dishwater to me. Dishwater with lemon scented soap. Having said that, there are a few redeeming qualities here. Its a lighter beer, and it probably is refreshing after mowing an acre of land. I still think there are better choices out there.
13. Coors Light – Oh yes. Coors Light, and the cold activated bottle. If the mountains are blue its ready to drink. I’m not so sure that’s true. To be honest this one isn’t even fit to shotgun or chug.
14. Schneider Aventinus – This beer has been brewed for a long time. A real real real long time. I’m sure the yeast strand is sacred, the recipe is guarded and all that jazz. The beer is a weizenbock style. It’s well respected, I just tried the beer on three different occasions and just can’t find the taste for it.
15. Rochefort 10 – At 11.3% this was the strongest Trappist ale I tried. I love the Trappists, really I do, but I feel like this one was simply unbalanced. The alcohol stood out more than anything. Though knowing about Trappist ales it could have had to do with storage of the bottle or any number of conditioning factors. I just know I am not inclined to try again.
16. Miller Lite – The ads want you to believe that it’s “triple hops brewed and great pilsner taste.” I however cannot taste a bit of hops in this one. A step above carbonated water this beer has fail all over it. Granted I’m not the target audience, but I dont think you can officially drink this beer for the taste. For me, I’d rather spend twice or three times the cost of admission for a better, drinkable beer.
17. Pabst Blue Ribbon – This beer has gained the “hipster” seal of approval. The brewery was owned by a charity, though I am not sure a majority of people knew this, they pump out gallon after gallon of cheap beer swill. Good in a pinch I suppose, but I’m not sure I could pick this one out from Miller Lite in a blind taste.
18. Corona – Lime or no, lite or full bodied, this beer is just BLAH. It’s a Cinco de Mayo fixture, and maybe it should stay that way. Focus on a better recipe year after year knowing you only have to impress us once. Just don’t turn into that Samichlaus crap.
19. Kronenbourg 1664 – Clocking in at a deceptively high 5.9% this beer is just wrong. It won a gold medal back in 2004, and now I am questioning these beer competitions. Ultra light in color and full of funky both taste and smell, leave this one in the store.
20. Dogfish Head 120min IPA – Dogfish heads ode to hop heads as they would want you to believe. A 20% imperial IPA this beer is just too much. I couldn’t finish but a quarter of a glass, and it’s a shame, it was expensive. I wonder if they just wanted to have a crazy amount of alcohol in this guy. Of course it’s hard to say and really I am sure there are people that are in love with this beer, I just couldnt do it.

And that folks wraps it up. 20 to avoid. Shouldn’t be too hard to never see these guys. All in all I know my tastes have evolved during this beer business and I am sure they will change again soon, but as of today, these are my “Avoid like the plague” beers.